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All I wanted for my birthday was for my toilets to work. Well, thats not really the only thing; its just high on an extensive list. You see, Ive lived in the same townhome for seventeen years this month and things are beginning to decay, along with its owner, but Ill get to that later.

I only have a few dislikes in life; two of them that I really detest are: stoplights and malfunctioning and obstinate toilet mechanisms.

Stoplights are easy to hatethey turn red when youre in a hurry and dont want to stop, plus, we so much waste gas sitting at them. I probably waste more gas by driving around the block to avoid them. Why havent more American cities utilized the roundabout that much of the world utilizes?

Toilets are another story altogether.

They often continue to fill wasting precious water because the design of the internal mechanism is archaic. Ostensibly, theres a black ball that is supposed to float to the surface of the contained water and shut off the valve when the tank is full. Well, it never floats high enough and constantly requires time and attention.

Having reached that frustrating station in life where the toilet is becoming a close personal friend, because of too much coffee, tea, wine, water, or whatever, I now visit my confidante during the night more than I used to.

Finishing my business, I sleepily get back into bed while the toilet is filling. I wait, thinking the contraption will shut off eventually. I pull a pillow over my head, so I wont hear what Im thinking about. But its still there, running monotonously.

Peeved, I get up, take the tank lid off, pull up the rod, slam the lid back on and storm off to bed. But now, Im too upset to get back to sleep. Brother, I gotta get a life or more patience.

In my usual pragmatic manner, I really tried to solve the problem: Ive bent the rod attached to the ball to make it lower, given the intellectual understanding that the pressure of being further under water would add more force on the ball to surface; Ive lubricated the valve with so much WD-40 that an oily film now coats the inside of the tank; Ive extended the ball to the absolute end of the rod, thinking that if it was further from the valve and lower in the water it had to pop up and shut the system off.

Right.

In a world with of such fancy gadgetry like: cell phones that take pictures and connect to the Internet, satellite guided navigation systems mounted in the dash of your car; wireless hand-held computers; watches that do everything but make coffee; his and hers individualized inflatable mattresses complete with a sleep numbering system; implanted chips in our pets to identify them if they get lostwhy cant we invent a toilet that flushes, forever!?!

I know I know, I should just be happy and grateful that there arent any telemarketers bugging me at 5:15 pm each night anymore. Did you ever notice that they never sell new and improved toilet flushers? I should just eat mass quantities of chocolate, it's supposed to help men cope.

Anyway you look at it, toilets are a pain in the butt (sorry, I couldnt resist myself).

Long years ago, my Dad remodeled his bathroom. The color of the era was pink. This past year, the toilet went kaput and a new one was needed, but do you think a pink one could be found? No one sells pink anymore, we were told. Not even to Mary Kay with her pink Cadillacs?

And whats up with padded toilet seats? I hope I dont get any of those for my birthday. I hate it when I go to someones home and theres a padded toilet seat. They just dont seem natural. How do you clean it? Theyre just weird to me.

And where did the blue water things go? None of my friends use them anymore, did blue go out of favor just like pink? I digress.

Well, to be forthright, Ive already solved the problem. Or I should say my Dad did. He couldnt stand the toilets running on either (its a family thing), so I bought the replacements and he changed all three of them for me as a birthday gift...how bout that?

Thanks, Dad. I love being a kid, even if, an inept, 58 year-old one.

These new flushers are revolutionary though, no ball, no rod...no foolin. Its a self-contained plastic mechanism thats a complete mystery, just like Santa Claus.

The only obvious drawback is when it stops working, I cant bend, submerge, oil or extend anything. Ill have to buy a new one. Therein lies the rub: planned obsolescence. The manufactures are always a step ahead of us, huh?

Well, at least its one item that I can check off my All I want for birthday list. I wonder if Ill get the Ronco onion chopper or the Chia pet Ive ask for? Hmmm.

Anyway you look at it, it's fun to ponder.

Keith E. Renninson is a motivational speaker and co-author of the popular parenting tool and illustrated storybook "Zooch the Pooch, My best Friend". through the 1990's with much self-examination, academic study, bicycle racing, and mountain climbing, he discovered a renewed zest of life, which included a love of metaphysics, philosophy, humor, and writing and speaking. As Keith says, "Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue...it's all in what you make of it." You can read more about "Zooch the Pooch" or contact Keith to speak at: http://www.zoochthepooch.com Keith and his co-author Michael Conrad Kelley speak to teens and adults on "The Seven Simple steps to a More Fulfilling Life." This course focuses on how to build a successful Life Philosophy that works for each individual.

// posted by 58378 @ 3:41 PM 0 comments

The beach club Hamilton Island is ideal for a last minute weekend getaway from almost anywhere on the Eastern Coast of Australia, and it is only three hours door to door from Melbourne. What this means that it is possible to make a last minute decision about your weekend getaway and how much more romantic is that!!

It is an exclusive boutique style luxury hotel right on the beach front, and excludes children under the age of eighteen.

The beach Club has about 50 rooms, is set in immaculate landscaped gardens,with its own private beach, and an infinity pool. The beach is stunning, and the sea beautifully calm and warm and very blue.

The gorgeous rooms have very large private balconies, or courtyards and face directly onto Catseye beach. The rooms have dark parquet floors and a sofa and Bse sound system.

A good description of The beach club is that it is sophisticated yet totally unpretentious, with quite superb yet very understated and discreet service from all the extremely effective staff.

The staff are always available to pander to your every whim. It could be a small item of room service, a restaurant booking, game fishing. You want it they will organise it without fuss.

Hamilton Island is a holidaymakers dream, with one huge advantage over most other islands in that it has its own airport which makes it ideal for the last minute romantic weekend getaway, as you fly right in there.

one of the top things about the beach Club is you get exclusive transportation to and from Hamilton Islands marina.

In addition you dont need to carry any money on Hamilton Island, you can book everything to your room, but be prepared to find that things on the island are expensive compared to home.

What a great thing for a Last Minute Weekend Getaway, when you dont have time to think about money.

You also have all the advantages of staying on Hamilton Island, all the activities and natural beauty, and you can go anywhere, and do anything, and then return to your luxury boutique hotel.

The whole island and all its facilities are available to everyone, vut The beach Club is completely exclusive to its guests. This means that they cant even sunbathe on the Clubs private beach.

There are some great excursions from The beach club, such as a sea plane over the Great Barrier Reef, and a stop off at Whitehaven beach, a Helicopter trip and snorkelling, BBQ safari.

The beach club is the only place to stay on Hamilton Island, whether it is a last minute weekend getaway or a romantic escape, this boutique luxury hotel is a must do.

Check out more Australian hotels & Vacation spots at http://www.worldwidevacationspots.com/categories/Oceania%26%2339%3Bs-Hidden-Hotels/Australia/

Peter Stewart writes exclusively for http://www.in-kenyasafari.com as well as http://www.worldwidevacationspots.com and he has in depth knowledge of the places he writes about.

// posted by 58378 @ 6:06 AM 0 comments